How Can You Identify Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style?

People who leave before things get too real

2 min readJun 30, 2022


Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Usually, people with this attachment style strongly crave intimate relationships however, they are skeptical about others. Thus, they fear intimacy and wish to protect themselves from the hurt. This is the reason, they fear the very connection they long for. This is why people with this attachment style often walk away from the real commitment or sometimes leave before the relationship becomes intimate.

Apart from these, various research studies pointed out some other issues faced by fearful-avoidant attachment individuals. For instance, these individuals might have a history of depression.

According to research by Van Buren and Cooley and Murphy and Bates, it’s the negative view of the self and the self-criticism that accompanies fearful-avoidant attachment that leaves those with this attachment style vulnerable to depression, social anxiety, and negative emotions, in general.

On the other hand, another research showed that, in contrast with other attachment styles, fearful-avoidant attachment individuals involve themselves with more sexual partners in their lifetime. Also, they have a higher propensity to consent to unwanted sex.

Managing a Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

The difficulties that are faced by a fearful-avoidant attachment style in their personal relationships can be overcome. The measures could be:

  • Discovering and gaining proper knowledge about one’s attachment style.
  • Establishing and communicating firm boundaries in relationships.
  • Taking care of oneself and trying to be less self-critical
  • Seeking therapy or professional guidance.

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Ph.D. Candidate (Mgmt)| Educator| Education Counsellor| Content Writer| Writing about things that intrigue my curious mind |